tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-121197092011-04-21T14:18:53.702-04:00Stumbling my way down life’s path, hoping to pick up the map to unconditional love along the way…Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.comBlogger1041100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1129063868191983492005-10-11T16:23:00.000-04:002006-08-23T19:19:13.466-04:00

I wondered if it would happen and I think it has. I can't be sure, but I'm being cautious. My place of refuge and solice here has been compromised and because my intentions here are to anonymously blog freely, I'm being forced to relocate. Which really isn't all that big a deal since I'd intened to in the next few weeks anyway, I'm just moving up my timetable. So if you want to know where I

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1128966023546716562005-10-10T13:26:00.000-04:002005-10-10T13:40:23.556-04:00

Fortunately I am not homeless, and it looks like I wont be next month either. As much as I tried to keep my problems to myself, I broke down and talked to my Hero about it. The biggest reason I didn’t want to is because I KNEW he’d fix it. And I didn’t want that. He has enough stuff on his own plate. But as I am blessed with his friendship, it is a curse that I cannot keep something like

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1128374753746635932005-10-03T21:16:00.000-04:002005-10-03T21:14:40.996-04:00

There have been times throughout my life that if it were not for my son, I would be here writing this today. Not just because I have him, but because there is no one else I can entrust to raise him if I were not here. This moment is life is one of those moments. It would be so much easier to just no longer exist. People who know me, their lives would go on, they could survive. Only because I

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1127494052454989922005-09-23T12:46:00.000-04:002005-09-23T12:47:32.463-04:00

So here what pisses me off. Between the asshole of an ex-husband and a job that fails to pay sufficiently, I haven’t been stable in over a year now, which lapses into the time that my hero and I have been together. And in him playing the role he chose for himself early on, he helps me out when I need. And I an eternally grateful for it. I work hard, I am busting my ass to find a new, better,

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1127422628069513212005-09-22T23:53:00.000-04:002005-09-22T23:53:26.313-04:00

Ever since I have accepted my sexuality, I have developed on crush on a girl at every new job I have started. The last job I held here in Atl before I moved away, I developed a crush on C. C embodied everything in a woman that I was attracted to. She was pretty, but didn’t flaunt herself; she was stylish in her own low key way. In fact her style, personality, everything about her was low key.

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1126727952200145772005-09-14T15:57:00.000-04:002005-09-23T00:03:15.540-04:00

What a better way to wake up in the morning then to a bouquet of flowers sitting at the bottom of your stairs where you are guaranteed to not miss them? Coupled with the sweetest “I miss you” card created. My mom is coming in to town so of course I’ll be busy with her and won’t have much time to spend with my Hero. He came over Monday to spend a little time and last night I text him that if he

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1126493269361391522005-09-11T22:47:00.000-04:002005-09-11T22:47:49.490-04:00

I was supposed to have a date with J on Friday. He wanted to take me out as a part of his plan to play backup to my Hero. Those plans got cancelled when his childcare fell through at the last minute. So of course I ended up going out with my Hero. I already had a babysitter in place, I didn't want to waste it. Just amusing that the night I planned to tell my Hero about CT, that CT just

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1126285321473339152005-09-09T14:03:00.000-04:002005-09-09T21:06:10.680-04:00

I told CT today that I intent to tell my Hero about our tryst. He reacted about as I expected. He doesn't see "why I should bother?" My Hero would be "better off not knowing". "It's gonna get out because my Hero has a big mouth". I addressed each of his concerns. Why should I bother; because I am not comfortable the lies that I have told. I did what I did. I had no obligations to my Hero

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1126215517170568442005-09-08T17:36:00.000-04:002005-09-08T17:40:22.256-04:00

When it comes to lying, my ability to be good at it is directly correlated to how close I am to the person whom I am lying to. To my employer, I can easily lie to call in sick or why I am late. To a friend whose call I didn’t answer, I can lie and say I was busy. To Peaches: HA! I can't hold water, unless its anything related to my Hero because of their "relationship". Same for my mom and

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1126053544659947262005-09-06T20:34:00.000-04:002005-09-06T20:39:04.676-04:00

It was two nights ago, I took myself down memory lane reading #48’s old letters. And over the past two days I have been thinking over the evolution of our relationship; where he was, where I was, what we went through and where we ended up. I’ve been thinking about all the ‘what ifs’; most importantly “what if I had waited?”, “what if he had waited?” Had we both waited for each other, it’s a

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1126033753425011952005-09-06T14:59:00.000-04:002005-09-06T15:09:13.433-04:00

Some people are just plain mean. I mean that deep down no matter what the situation is always mean. My boyfriend from high school, Cole's mama is like that. I used to think it was just cause she didn’t like me. She used to always catch us almost int e act, so i could understand that. But I was with him for four years; you'd think she'd have eventually gotten over it. But turns out she's

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1125970057211484592005-09-05T21:31:00.000-04:002005-09-05T21:27:37.303-04:00

One thing I can never say is I have never been loved. My first serious boyfriend and I were together since the tenth grade. He loved me hard. I knew it even when we broke up(finally) after 4 and a half years of mostly on, though sometimes off. I left because he didn't "show me" how much he loved me, although my heart knew he did. I was so young then, only 19, but I'm still that same way

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1125966630793222472005-09-05T20:06:00.000-04:002005-09-05T21:28:51.106-04:00

My Hero is reaching and I don't know if I should be amused or flattered to just see it as male envy. Someone has gotten in his ear that they are "after me". He's been asking me questions for days and I can't help but find it cute. I have to wonder if J hasn't IM'ed him. I don't know if he knows my Hero’s exact Yahoo ID, but he could've asked around for it. And I wouldn't put it past him.

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1125600252194538152005-09-01T22:43:00.000-04:002005-09-02T23:03:01.866-04:00

The guy that sits next to me at work is really a sweetie pie. He looks out for the females that sit in our area, he’s cool with all the guys, really laid back, quiet but not, if that makes sense. But before he came to sit over in my area, I didn’t think that way of him. From the outside looking in, he has this playboy image. He’s got that “pretty boy” style,there are always a lot of females

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1125512715179898212005-08-30T22:50:00.000-04:002005-09-02T12:04:38.836-04:00

A proposition of sex for $1 million dollars would be easier to handle then the proposition I was handed today. I truly am flattered. J and I have always had a great relationship. It began at a bad time; when I was still in the process of divorcing my husband, and I didn't feel it was in anyone's best interest for me to try to get into another relationship. We remained friends, and thought

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1125252076014683592005-08-28T12:29:00.000-04:002005-08-28T14:01:18.390-04:00

I pray for these four simple things to get me through everyday. And somehow, when I pray for them, they shine through. During my talk with my Hero was no exception. What he wanted to talk about was really simple. As I suspected he sensed my need to not be intimate with him because of the situation. He wanted to confirm that and to distance him self from me. He felt that by spending so much

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1125094098093969402005-08-26T18:09:00.000-04:002005-08-26T18:08:18.100-04:00

Today's words to smack me in the face came from Peaches "you shouldn't let him or anyone else have so much control over your feelings that it affects your health". And believe me I know she is right. The panic attacks initially began because of the stress my ex-husband used to have me under. That was back in '3. I just took that power away from him this year. I had to learn to be indifferent

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1125058656334356352005-08-26T08:20:00.000-04:002005-08-26T08:17:36.353-04:00

So when a 7:30Am IM on a Friday morning comes through that says "hit me with your free schedule we need to talk before the end of the weekend..Make sure you have an awesome day..." from the man who has you heart in a shambles, you don't anticipate having the greatest day. Coupling that with the fact that I suffer from panic attacks, making it through the day without having one was simply an

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1125000295126989322005-08-25T15:57:00.000-04:002005-08-25T16:04:55.130-04:00

Usually they at least build up in me; the tears I mean. I feel something, anything, I have enough time to calmly get to the last stall, and go ahead and let it out. But right now, I don’t' know what’s up. I suddenly feel angry, but I'm not really thinking about anything. Yeah he has like a permanent running scroll bar through my head but I wasn’t thinking about anything about him specifically

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1124929241832245312005-08-24T20:20:00.000-04:002005-08-24T20:20:41.890-04:00

The one connection I can't escape, I can't hide from no matter what: music. My Hero and I are so bonded by music, I admit I am having a hard time listening to it at the moment. The upside to the garbage they play on the radio is that it is hardly lovey-dovey stuff. So I am able to get lost in the musical nothingness on the radio during the car ride, coupled with the Bert Show in the morning

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1124901839612104982005-08-24T12:22:00.000-04:002005-08-24T12:43:59.660-04:00

I am amazed at myself. I guess maybe I am stronger than I feel. Because I'm just not all that worked up over the situation any more. I feel as it I almost instantaneously fell back in to the chill mode I was in back when I didn't really think we would end up together anyway. And I'm feeling pretty cool in this mode. I can't front, I'm still feeling a little anxious, but the true test was

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1124817558133970792005-08-23T23:07:00.000-04:002005-08-24T06:50:15.553-04:00

I am not one that is afraid to cry. Crying releases emotions so that you can move past them. So if I feel the need, I will do just that. If I am at work, I will creep into the last stall and let the tears flow until I am release. Usually when I am that upset, I am praying at the same time. And most often, I don't know what to pray for other then strentgh to get through and guiance to keep me

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1124814255218892962005-08-23T12:25:00.000-04:002005-08-23T12:29:08.346-04:00

Talking to my best friend Peaches last night, who finally is a little more accepting of my Hero for her won reasons, we talking about not waiting for the men we love that for various reasons aren't "available". When they became "unavailable" we decided that we weren't waiting, we would continue to date and meet other people need try to move on. Dating however grew boring for me and I stopped

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1124802548008444762005-08-23T08:34:00.000-04:002005-08-23T09:09:08.036-04:00

No, I wasn't really prepared this time, although I know I should've been. But all the things that have been said were leading up to "us". Yet, my Hero still seems to think that he can work things out with Her. I can't be mad, because I've seen it way too many times in plenty of relationship, including my own marriage. You don't think you did all you could to make it work, so you go back once

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1124599088991793632005-08-20T23:16:00.000-04:002005-08-21T10:13:19.100-04:00

Love is so much more than a “thing” that we experience during our lives. It’s more than a mere gift. Love is a blessing from which ever higher power one believes in. It is bestowed upon us as one of the benefits of living life. And yet so many people, misuse it, mistreat it, and simply take advantage of having it.Why, when we know that life is so short, when we know that the next day is not

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1124462188434159042005-08-19T10:35:00.000-04:002005-08-19T10:36:28.486-04:00

It was a redeeming night, at least for myself anyway. After two days of being “sexually unavailable”, I was very much back last night. Glad that problem is solved…lol Laying in bed talking last night, somehow I ended up telling my Hero about a conversation my son and I had in the car a few days ago. Basically, my son walked in on us last October (yeah that walked in on). I assumed this had

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1124376501233109642005-08-18T10:49:00.000-04:002005-08-18T10:48:21.253-04:00

I am about to have a not-so-good moment in life. I can feel it. I've been busting my butt the past couple weeks working on a business venture, which has had me quite exhausted. At the same time, my Hero has been spending quite a bit of time with me lately. To my surprise, I have seen him five out of the past six days. And I'm loving it; however, because I have been so tired, I haven't been in the

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1124138108447092112005-08-15T16:28:00.000-04:002005-08-15T17:08:41.663-04:00

It's been a lttle hectic around here...thankfully all good things. I've missed blogging, and keeping up with everyone. I'm back and I'll update whats been up ove rthe past few weeks in the next few posts. Here's the notice..they are backdated:-)

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1123342246228552112005-08-08T20:12:00.000-04:002005-08-15T17:06:50.973-04:00

My Hero and I actually made it a whole year. I still can't believe it. So a year may not seem like all that much time, but for me it is. And for all we've been through, it is.A year ago we met at a happy hour spot through a mutual friend. She'd told me a little about him; he seemed rather "safe", so I gave him my number. When he asked me(excuse me...told me) we were going out the next

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1122927789010807692005-08-01T20:44:00.000-04:002005-08-01T20:34:13.483-04:00

Some how, some way, my Hero managed to come through, above and beyond 5 other men’s attempts to help me with my car. A man who just had a baby, was able to not just have the time, but the competence to at least get to the bottom of the problem and take me to the other side of the city, an hour away and back without hesitation. My battery died Saturday as I was on my way to the wedding. He’d

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1122688905865065232005-07-30T02:45:00.000-04:002005-09-05T21:36:35.823-04:00

Lil Hero is here. He arrived yesterday afternoon. My excitement surprised me. I am very, very happy for myHero as crazy as that sounds. The 'woman' in me is happy for him. He has a baby now, how can I not be excited? The 'mistress' in me can't figure out why I should be excited. Lil Hero changes everything now. My Hero will of course be home with them more now, which I am as prepared for

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1122652935531837282005-07-29T12:03:00.000-04:002005-07-29T12:02:17.010-04:00

They are inducing Her labor today. The baby will be here shortly. And I am having a million confilicted feelings. Of course I knew this day was coming, although it is just a few days earlier than the due date, but I guess I just couldn't have prepared for it.I want everything to go well for my Hero and Her, as far as the baby, I mean. 10 fingers, 10 toess healthy and all that stuff. I confess

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1122435991355026592005-07-27T10:43:00.000-04:002005-08-20T11:38:19.916-04:00

For as much that is wrong my relationship with my Hero, I see ten times more right. Taking a step back from the main fact that She is still living with him for just a moment here: When I need...he is right there. When I fall...he picks me up. When things look down...he motivates me to keep looking up. When I am happy...he wants to share my joy. He wants and knows how to bring me happiness.

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1122331964873315302005-07-25T18:42:00.000-04:002005-07-25T18:52:44.880-04:00

This weekend, I realized that I am actually enjoying our love being "a secret" so to speak; at least from my friends anyway. We were all sitting around this weekend analyzing some of our love lives or lack thereof and as I was listening and occasionally putting in my two cents, I kept hoping that the conversation didn't turn towards me. I wouldn't have discussed my relationship with my Hero

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1122000922948355172005-07-21T22:56:00.000-04:002005-07-21T23:36:36.046-04:00

Sigh...I am starting to have my doubts about AD. It not anything he has done, per se, more of what he hasn't done. I let the "dating" thing slide because he was having some issues. I can appreciate his honestly, hell we all have issues. But when you develop a pattern of only calling or texting me after 11:00PM asking me what I'm doing, we have a problem. We've kicked it a total of three times,

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1121997204932867012005-07-20T21:53:00.000-04:002005-07-21T21:53:53.386-04:00

It still amazes me after almost a year of being together, that the words that my Hero says still affect me the way they do. I don’t know what it is. Not so much that what he says is law, not by a long shot. But he can apologize or explain something and I just know it is what he says. I think about it and it’s crazy to me because from the outside looking in it would seem like I’m just some

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1121376576183129882005-07-18T12:40:00.000-04:002005-07-18T16:14:24.926-04:00

In the week leading up to our trip, for some reason, I’d been full of questions. Honestly, I was and still am proud that I have reached the point where I don’t fear posing questions to my Hero, and look forward to the answers, whatever they may be. I love looking forward to the reality of a situation. For weeks, I’d been asking how the house shopping is going. When he settled on one, I was

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1121702410220869612005-07-18T11:59:00.000-04:002005-07-18T12:00:10.236-04:00

Needing an escape for a weekend is an understatement to say the least. Although I had just gone a way the weekend before, I was excited about this trip away, alone, just the two of us. We had been trying to get away for about 6 months, first to New York, then San Francisco, but circumstances kept preventing it. This was just perfect; not much could have stepped in the way of this one.During

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1121710721745442552005-07-18T01:45:00.000-04:002005-07-18T16:15:20.793-04:00

What do you do when the life you imagined shatters before your very eyes? I always said part if the reson I've been unable to leave is because he hasn't done anything devestating to really hurt me, as crazy as that sounds. With the first breakup, he left without a real explainationa nd when he returned he explained and we moved on. The second breakup I left and when I returned after taking

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1121271300957104672005-07-14T17:44:00.000-04:002005-07-14T17:44:13.080-04:00

What is it about a man that is professional by day, street savvy by night; has that intimidating, thuggish, "I'll kick yo azz if you mess with my girl" look, and is as affectionate as a teddy bear that is just so damned sexy. Oh yeah, and is technology and electronically savvy too. Oooolawd!While daydreaming about getting a new job, since I got a call about an interview(who called me the next

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1121109286831957422005-07-11T19:31:00.000-04:002005-07-11T19:32:24.996-04:00

Well maybe not everywhere, but a lot further than if you choose to ignore it. Instinct told me not to marry my exhusband, to swallow my young pride and take care of my son my damn self. Instead I got four years of serious lesson learning. Instict told me that my best friend, Peaches, child's father was still as manipulative as ever and was gonna mess up and get her caught up in it, despite

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1120680472393597722005-07-06T19:14:00.000-04:002005-07-06T19:13:14.886-04:00

Enjoyed another lovely evening with AD last night. It's nice when you trust what someone says. Or wait, I should rephrase that a little. It’s nice when you don't worry one way or the other about trusting what someone says. The one thing I think I have gotten better at, or at least have rolled into this new "relationship" is to not have any expectations of the person and just see what happens. I

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1119930955932410692005-07-02T15:24:00.000-04:002005-07-02T15:35:38.483-04:00

"I guess he felt that it was necessary that I be caught up in emotions to be with him but I just didn't like that feeling of being set up. I almost questioned our entire pseudo-relationship. Then I realized that he was the first man to show me how deeply I could feel emotion and passion. I wouldn't call it love, more like love's cousin infatuation. He came along at a time when I needed to see

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1120330585698230832005-07-02T14:54:00.000-04:002005-07-02T15:11:28.036-04:00

As one who doesn’t like to confide too much in others(which is why I love my blog so much…lol), it makes me feel good when other people feel they can confide in me. When someone new does it, I feel honored. To trust someone with their inner feelings and reveal a more vulnerable side to themselves to someone they never have before shows a true respect for the one whom they are entrusting. AD

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1120159109547064682005-07-01T13:56:00.000-04:002005-07-01T16:00:46.473-04:00

So the new guy, we'll call him AD, and I talked Monday night about why I wouldn't come over to his place. I told him that I didn't want things to go to fast, physically, and he told me figured that was why. We discussed preventing that from happening, and why he hadn't asked me out on a "real date" since the first time. His reason was quite legitimate: he'd had to put some money into his car at

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1120142107583487592005-06-30T09:05:00.000-04:002005-06-30T11:04:25.453-04:00

If you ask me, it had been 9 days since my Hero and I had spent any time together(let him tell it, it hasn't been that long though..lol). We've both been really busy. He's come by to drop a thing or two off, and we see each other in passing at a club one night, but otherwise, no quality time since Fathers Day. Needless to say, I'd grown a little "grouchy" about the situation. I am self admittedly

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1120037311020759242005-06-29T12:28:00.000-04:002005-06-29T12:26:35.086-04:00

I recognize that I talk to much. Not that I talk a lot, more so that I reveal too much of what I'm thinking. Sadly, I see this is not the best thing to do, at least in the beginning...I don't know, maybe never. I see that revealing what I'm thinking and feeling gives the other person the key to what to do to get past my (weak)defenses. Damn, this one is gonna be hard to change. I really

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1120010085040717692005-06-28T23:06:00.000-04:002005-06-28T23:06:09.940-04:00

Mariah, Jada, Vivica, Amerie, Megan Good, Toni, any of the DC girls What do they all have in common?Please, just let me be the dress they wear for one night. Any one of their dresses. I'm not stingy at all. Doesn't have to be all of them; doesn't matter which one of them. Goodlawd, they ALL had me drooling and stuttering on the BET Awards. So what?! I can't help it. Ya'll can look at me

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1119887234618971982005-06-27T11:46:00.000-04:002005-06-27T11:47:44.383-04:00

Sometimes you need to see something in print to have it help sink in. So I'm writing this now so when the moment in time finally comes, I can reach back in the archives and read it over and over as needed."The time has come. He is not going to leave them, whatever the circumstances are. It's time to pick up and move along."Great, looks good in print. Now all I have to do, is feel it inside...lol

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1119885735072319392005-06-27T11:27:00.000-04:002005-06-27T11:22:15.973-04:00

Soliciting advice...ya'll help me out here please...lolOk here are the facts:I met this guy a few weeks ago, and I'm acatully interested in getting to know him. This doesn't happen very often. We've talked on the phone for the past week or so and coversation is pretty good. We had plans to go out on a date, but I missed his call so we ended up meeting up at a club for a couple drinks since I

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1119636729597532392005-06-24T14:11:00.000-04:002005-06-25T14:23:35.953-04:00

I recognize:I am in "relationship mode"that I fall too fastI give too much to soon I can feel for someone other than my HeroAw shoot, I think I may be a lil dangerous now...lol I've figured out at least a big piece of the puzzle. I know all the W's: who, what, when, where, and why. Now I have to apply all that to the How. How to walk in to the next "relationship", for lack of a better word.

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1119485642444383982005-06-22T19:57:00.000-04:002005-06-22T20:14:02.450-04:00

Dammit, I refuse to think I am just blind, dumb, and/or stupid. I am 26 damn years old; been married and divorced, and am raising a very bright young man, practically by my damn self. I am educated, and as much as I hate my job it is still a job that requires more thought than working at Wendy's(no offense if you work at Wendys). I love the man. Shit, ok, I love him. I can't help that. And

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1119276458849497982005-06-21T07:59:00.000-04:002005-06-21T07:57:53.030-04:00

It's been three workdays now, and I still am not over the shock of my at work crush being gone. I came in at 7 this moring, which used to be his schedeule, and instictively I walked by his desk looking for him. I didn't think I was going to be this affected, but I miss my sweetie pie.His last day here, Thursday, I fessed up. I had blogged about him in my "public space" one day a few months ago

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1119295332001151272005-06-20T15:19:00.000-04:002005-06-20T15:22:12.013-04:00

***Warning: there will be random rambling in this entry.***Its been 20 days since the “come to Jesus” conversation with my Hero. And the first 17 were beautiful. Peaceful, at least in my heart. It felt good to know what’s what, and feel like I can believe the words coming out of his mouth. I can’t tell if my feeling less distanced from him is causing me to see him and his actions differently.

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1119208047431538642005-06-19T14:18:00.000-04:002005-06-19T15:14:22.633-04:00

Beloved tagged me anout 2 weeks ago, and I have been so busy I haven't had a chance until now to get to it. I used to read so much when I was younger(i.e. had less responsibilties), I'd confuse things I read in books with real life stories people shared with me. I'm a little busier now, but I still try to make time to read outside of school curriculm books.Total Number of Books Owned: I really

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1119204454184813832005-06-19T13:59:00.000-04:002005-06-19T14:07:34.186-04:00

A very bad habit is forming in my life and I gotta find a way to eliminate it. This is the third Sunady in a row that I have been depressed. I don't know why its only Sundays; but every Sunday, I am depressed. These aren't the only three, there have been others, but it has been three in a row this time around. Initially, I thought it was because I was spending my Saturday nights with my Hero,

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1118621393958923182005-06-18T16:10:00.000-04:002005-06-18T16:12:49.183-04:00

I really, really have tried to make it fun, exciting, interesting, and everything else people say dating is supposed to be. But, I don't find it to be any of that. I have never really enjoyed the "dating game". The whole song and dance of getting to know someone: "What do you do?" "Where are you from?" "What do you want in x,y,z scenario?" None of this appeals to me. Not that I don't enjoy

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1118783924803633262005-06-14T17:24:00.000-04:002005-06-14T17:18:44.826-04:00

Two days and counting. My at work crush's last day it Thrusday. I'm not really depressed, just hate to see my boy go. Before he was my crush, he was(and still) is my friend. But I still wanna do him...lmaoThe flirting is still getting hot and heavy...for flirting anyway. Last week, the dude that sits next to me somehow got us on the topic of piercings. Well my crush comes by and jumps into

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1118444200836862302005-06-13T12:59:00.000-04:002005-06-13T13:06:44.436-04:00

Once of my favorite cousins in getting married at the end of July here in Atlanta. A lot of my family is coming down and I am so excited because I haven't some of them in quite a few years. I go home very infrequently and when I do I usually only get to see my close relatives. I have to RSVP by the 20th of this month and I know I don't want to go by myself. I mean I could of course, its my

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1117743921196160262005-06-13T10:18:00.000-04:002005-06-13T13:20:01.133-04:00

This seems to be the week for confessions. There must be something in the water. I've had a few people confess to me and I am close to making a confession of my own. One of my best friends, Tan, was married to my ex-husband’s best friend, CT so we all were close at one point. Well while we were still married, my ex took it upon himself to share a fantasy he had about himself, me and CT having a

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1118262133481462842005-06-08T16:15:00.000-04:002005-06-08T16:22:13.486-04:00

I miss ya'll! I haven't been bloging cause it's sapping my creativity and I need it for other areas right now. I'll be back in about a week or so(I'm gonna try to stay away that long anyway) with updates on my at work crush, my date with the new cutie from NY, and my Hero.See you soon!

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1118098719516563752005-06-06T18:44:00.000-04:002005-06-06T18:58:39.520-04:00

Atlanta has a way of mysteriously taking a hold of the weak minded and making it easier for them to lose their way on t he path they intended to travel. Now some of that could be down the path that God wants you to see, to learn from. And some of it is just the Devil and his wickedness. Either way, I have lost some of my own focus in life. I'm recognizing that my relationship with God isn't

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1117731575123978572005-06-02T12:44:00.000-04:002005-06-02T18:22:21.286-04:00

SIGH.....My at work crush got the official offer from Nascar yesterday. He put in his two week notice today. He's gonna be gone! As if I wasn't already miserable here at work...now I have no eyecandy, no one to flirt with. Yeah, its really time to put that degree to use and find a new job. I may not have anyone to look at with a new job, but at least I'd be happier.

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1117683483094226252005-06-01T23:05:00.000-04:002005-06-02T18:21:32.216-04:00

This is exactly how I came at him: "Tell me a story that starts last August. Don't leave out any details, and don't stop or hesitate; don't give me any reason NOT to believe you."It was finally time, it had come to a head for me emotionally and I needed the truth; I couldn't let another day go by. So I texted my Hero and told him to make an hour free for me last night. When I got home, he was

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1117548773287507412005-05-31T10:13:00.000-04:002005-05-31T10:12:53.296-04:00

It's hard losing someone who is such a good friend and overall person just because they can't stop obssessing about you sexually. I have had some people in my life that have really been good friends in one way or another; cool to chill with, great to talk to when you need someone, execellent parents whom I admire...so on and so forth. But I have lost in the past good friends because they simply

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1117543822269560262005-05-31T08:46:00.000-04:002005-05-31T08:51:13.173-04:00

I used to think I was one of those optimistic, positive outlook, "glass half full" kinda people. You know one of those who no matter what happens, always seems to put a positive spin on things. I'm starting to wonder if maybe I'm losing that. I love my mom, she drives me crazy, but at least I still have her. I hate my job, but so many people don't have one, who am I to really complain. I'm tired

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1117422474373006892005-05-29T23:03:00.000-04:002005-05-29T23:07:54.376-04:00

It's a three day weekend and of course my silly behind volunterred to work...hard to pass up overtime. Thankfully, there are a few upsides. One: there are 10 of us working, and they are all people I'm cool with. Two: I know it won't be that busy so I can get a lot of the reseach and writing I have been lagging on done. And three: my at work crush is working too. Mmmm, nothing like a lil eye

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1117039819559539692005-05-25T11:56:00.000-04:002005-05-25T12:50:19.576-04:00

Maybe its a normal thing and I just don't realize it. Having a feeling, any feeling, so extreme that is almost consumes you, just can't be normal. It sounds like some kinda depression-type symptom. You know, hella happy one day and then insanely pissed off the next. That can't be right. But that's how I feel more often that not. I feel every feeling extremely. Today I feel extremely sad.

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1117035509193254342005-05-25T11:34:00.000-04:002005-05-25T11:50:02.636-04:00

Not sure that I'll even post this. Today, at this moment, I am just really deep down sad and hurting. And I can't really put a finger on the exact cause of it. I want to take the blame on myself because really anytime I get hurt its because of the expectations I have placed on others around me. My head knows this, but I'm not yet ready to accept that reponsibilty...and for now place in in

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1116473858477980502005-05-18T23:25:00.000-04:002005-05-18T23:37:38.480-04:00

As I drove home tonight, I caught sight of a falling star. Of course, my first instinct was to make a wish. "I wish that as I walk across the stage to accept my degree, I gaze out into the audiance and my Hero is standing with and cheering along side my family, happy to see my hard work and struggles and sacrifices finally pay off." It's nice to be able to wish from time to time even when you

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1116212268511569312005-05-15T22:53:00.000-04:002005-05-15T22:57:48.513-04:00

Poetry isn't my forte when it comes to writing, but every now and then I am stuck with feeling that have to escape one way or another. The result at times is not so bad...lolWhat is it that they seeThat drives them to reactLike packs of dogs in heatWhen I walk down the streetSo there’s a little switch in the hipsA little thickness in the thighsSlim waist, small frameAll in all, a sexy lil’

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1116083749235300192005-05-15T22:45:00.000-04:002005-05-15T22:51:47.616-04:00

The saying goes "Nice guys finish last". Well I'm finding the pretty girls rank pretty high up there with the nice guys. Not only do we finish lst but we get screwed over in the process.Case #1: Lil Bit is very cute. One of them high yella gals. Pretty face, petite frame, very outgoing personality. She meets a friend of my best friend, Peaches, whom is known to be a good guy, a pretty good

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1116206606655750122005-05-15T21:32:00.000-04:002005-05-15T21:32:54.896-04:00

In thinking about writing this post earlier in the day, I was thinking about talking about how love is addictive, very much like a drug. How when you are in it and around it, you see everything through thisbeautifully, glowing rosy haze where even the bad goings on are still all good. That was before I came down off my high. Now I am crashing; just like addict when that last hit wears off and

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1115994254363317812005-05-13T10:13:00.000-04:002005-05-13T10:24:14.370-04:00

Damn I feel sexy today in my jeans and t-shirt. Amazing what perming ya hair will do to your confidence...lol My At Work Crush sure looks sexy with his Dominican tan. Wondering if my "purpose" for going through all this drama with my Hero is because I have been judgemental of other's relationships in the past..wondering if the drama is a test of friendhsip as well. My best friend and I went

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1115670129346960222005-05-12T20:57:00.000-04:002005-05-12T08:56:40.696-04:00

Aight, I'm utterly confused. This whole blog thing is a God-sent in my opinion. Anyone can have one, its easy as hell to run and administer, and you can post to your hearts desire. You have your own personal space to do with as you please. So with that said, why in the hell would anyone censor themselves because of their readers? Now, I recognize this is a semi-contradiction of what I said a few

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1115843263048923892005-05-12T08:35:00.000-04:002005-05-12T08:57:39.143-04:00

I am recognizing that my distrust for men has resurfaced. It was very strong after my divorce because my ex-husband lied to me for so long about so many things throughout our marriage. And to this day, I still don't believe a thing that comes out of his mouth. My relationship with my Hero has been the first I have been in, nearly two years after my divorce. That general distrust had

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1115695491130825832005-05-09T23:06:00.000-04:002005-05-09T23:24:51.153-04:00

In my first offical blog in which I am intoxicated(aight I'm drunk, I had a jacked up day, dammit) and listening to that new damn 112 cd(which is a Banger!), I find now to be the perfect time to confess to myself that part of me is still living in a fanstasy world despite what I try to convice myself of any other time.Part if me wants things to become bright and rosy and happily ever after with

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1115641924467771932005-05-09T14:28:00.000-04:002005-05-09T14:29:02.906-04:00

The male half of the couple that I have been chatting with for the past week or so had an interview with my company at my location on Friday. So I gave himmy number and told him to call me after his interbiew and I would come donw and chat withhim for a few. He called around 12 or so and I got downstairs to the lobby and trust me, you couldn't miss him. I knew he was 6"9', but to see that

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1115641021514842052005-05-09T08:10:00.000-04:002005-05-09T08:17:01.520-04:00

My at work crush was away for the week with his Nascar job. He spent last weekend in St. Louis and then the week down in the Dominican Republic. As my hero dropped me off this morning, I saw my crush heading into the building. By the time I got upstairs and saw him up close, GOODLAWD!!! The time under the sun has him looking like a honey dipped piece of heaven. I would've been happy just to

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1115393765150306022005-05-06T10:43:00.000-04:002005-05-06T12:43:13.253-04:00

It's the Friday before Mothers Day and when I got into the office today there were flowers on my desk from a coworker. Another coworker came around and brought all the mothers breakfast. I felt so special. And yet I feel really blah today. Thats unusual for me for a Friday. I don't think its the "day after" blues I get after I'm with my Hero either. I'm sure its hormone related since its about

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1115293273577516302005-05-05T08:43:00.000-04:002005-05-05T08:55:19.356-04:00

I needed a change of scenery for my ride to work. Spending that much time with ABM was taking a little toll on me, plus I need to register my son for kindergarten today so I asked my Hero to be my chauffer today. Waking up to him sliding into my bed is always a pleasure. Before I knew it, he was sliding his arms around me to turn me over and lay me on "my pillow": his chest. It has almost

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1115230368371405642005-05-05T08:04:00.000-04:002005-05-05T08:03:41.056-04:00

It amuses me that even back in the day, when music was about something, somebody was feeling my pain. Chaka Kahn hit it right on the head for me. I was listening to my favorte playlist - Jamz, which is nothing but slow jamz of all times. And Sweet Thing came on...and it hit me! Thats it rigth there...thats me."I will love you anyway, even if you cannot stay. I think you are the one for me,

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1115175221571213562005-05-04T23:15:00.000-04:002005-05-04T23:21:38.576-04:00

I posed a question somewhat to myself last night(meaning it was up on my Yahoo status for the IM world to see..lol) The question was: Am I really ready for what I think I want? I got a couple silly comments from it, but my best friend and I got into a serious conversation about it. She asked me if I was over what I went through with my Hero. My inital reaction was HELL NO..LOL But then I

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1115230274294347762005-05-04T22:47:00.000-04:002005-05-04T22:57:13.136-04:00

As a pretty social person, I like some types of attention. I do have another blog which is deemed my "public" blog, that everyone knows of and follows. And I admit, I love the attention; I love for people to read and respond to what I have to say. I am a writer at heart. However, the more readers I get on my public blog, the more I seem to appreicate the anonymity of this one.No one that knows

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1115166779908083442005-05-03T20:36:00.000-04:002005-05-03T20:32:59.910-04:00

When this chick hit me up Sunday on IM, I really was unfazed. She was hella cool, was trying to be really polite; I could tell she was trying to figure out if I was or wasn't into women without really offending me. So I let her know that I was, however, since she'd told me she was married, I made it very clear I don't do couples. I'm not into that. I've done the swinger lifestyle and it is NOT

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1115166148996879082005-05-03T20:26:00.000-04:002005-05-03T20:22:28.996-04:00

I don't know why "it" isn't there. ABM really is a good guy. I have said this before. And I told myself and him, that after I finished school, I was gonna start kicking it with him some more. My intention was to see if maybe the chemistry would come over time. Apparently, it was meant for me to fnid out the answer to that sooner rather than later. With the issues with the car, he's been

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1114987501180541262005-04-30T18:15:00.000-04:002005-05-01T18:45:01.186-04:00

It all just hit me like a bolt of lightning. And I couldn't focus could slepp, couldn't do anything until I released it."One day you are gonna wake up and I am gonna be gone. And I wonder if you care. Or if you will care when that day comes. I have finally come to the realization that you are always going to lie to me. At least as long as you are in the place you are mentally. I don't know

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1114691197332486652005-04-28T21:25:00.000-04:002005-04-28T21:25:56.163-04:00

The Poet: I ran across the Poets page on BP about 2 Sundays ago(yes I know what I said about BP...lol). I was feeling real down after having spent some time with my Hero. The Poets page was filled with poetry of all types: erotic, love lost, love found...and the song playing was "He Loves Me (Lyzel in E Flat)" - Jill Scott which is one of my absolute favorite "deep down in my soul" songs. So afte

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1114533280607312232005-04-26T11:50:00.000-04:002005-04-26T12:34:40.610-04:00

The hardest thing to live with is you're loved by many, and everyone's intentions for you are not always in synch. I recognize that I am loved in differnet ways by different people for different reasons. While the love my Hero has for me is true, that doesn't mean it is rigth for me. And when you best friend's love for you contradicts the love from the man you love, there is an open door for

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1114389323062967942005-04-24T20:21:00.000-04:002005-11-09T17:01:28.576-05:00

We you live, breathe, eat and sleep to music, you are happy to find someone that has the same love for music. That has always been one of the bonds that to this day keep my Hero and I bound to each other. It was dancing that first brought us together, and we find time to do it whenever we can: whether that be in a club til the wee horus of the morning, or the very moment a song comes on that we

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1114352005204510502005-04-24T10:14:00.000-04:002005-04-24T10:13:25.206-04:00

One of the biggest factors that kept me from thinking my hero was married, despite the lack of time we spent at his place, was the fact that he was with me so ofetn during the week. Before we first "broke up" he was at my apartment on average of 4 nights a week. With the type job he has, it often has him working late into the night or leaving out early in the morning, so it just didnt make

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1114054550629608212005-04-20T23:36:00.000-04:002005-04-20T23:35:50.630-04:00

It's not him getting up and leaving that is the hard part. It's the night after he's been here, lying in my bed, kissing me, loving me, holding me as we fall asleep, creeping up into my soul despite my efforts to keep him out. My Hero has always had it like that. That's part of how I knew I was falling in love with him...lol After we made love last night, I was lying there under him thinking"

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1114003139074173052005-04-20T22:26:00.000-04:002005-04-20T23:39:24.100-04:00

Being so busy with school and work and my so-called personal life, I don't meet people as much as I used to. Still meeting people online of course, but those that I have an interest to get to know offline, I simply haven't had the time. Surpringly they both have been really patient, knowing my situation and have been very encouraging and supportive, recognizing the long run potential.The

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1114003113886689562005-04-20T09:17:00.000-04:002005-04-20T09:58:26.276-04:00

I know me. I see what I want, when I want in a situation. So I am trying not to look too much into the "little things" between me and my at work crush. Like his buying me breakfast this morning, unexpectedly. Like yesteday, him going down to the cafe with me yesterday, off of his own break schedule. Like him making sure to mention to me that he went to the outing I organized for our team on

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1113872522560320362005-04-18T18:34:00.000-04:002005-04-18T22:42:57.840-04:00

I was surprised to get a text from my Hero letting me know that he was back in town asking me to call him when I got off work. Though I got off at 4:30, I waited to call just to let him know that I'm not at his beck and call; this power striggle between us is a bitch sometimes. We spoke briefly about my new car and a little about his trip home and then I needed to get off the phone to pick up my

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1113792620773446732005-04-17T22:50:00.000-04:002005-04-17T23:00:17.130-04:00

Every now and then, I'll log into my BlackPlanet page, just for amusement. BP is a meatmarket and I wouldn't dare expect to find any qualityon there. I've met a few folks from there...no quality whatsoever. There was note in there today from a guy I went out with couple times about this time last year. I didn't recognize him at first..or should I say I didn't recognize his id. The questions to me

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1113757928707865822005-04-15T22:43:00.000-04:002005-04-17T20:22:43.713-04:00

With the car still being out of commission, my hero picked me up from work today. After taking me to pick up my son and run a few errands, we came back to the house. The plan wasn't for him to stay. I try to keep him away from my son for the most part just because he cannot be a consistant part of his life an I don't want him running in and out of his life. My son is a "lover" and attaches very

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1113532414900823812005-04-14T22:32:00.000-04:002005-04-14T22:37:49.083-04:00

This is one of those nights where bitterness and resentfullness kick in. I know I don't want him for myself, but I need him to hold me. It's been a rough day, despite being fairly productive. The car has been acting up for the past few weeks now, and after dealing with getting stuck at my son's daycare, I need a drink and a hug tonight. I could call up any number of peple to provide either or

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1113483228412026832005-04-14T08:49:00.000-04:002005-04-14T09:24:05.736-04:00

Chillin' with my best friend in Atl over the weeked, she told me that some people had said to her in passing that they thought we were "togther". I thought this was the funniest thing in the world at first, but then I remembered...people used to think that even when I was married and she was with her long term boyfriend. Back then we ran in the swingers circle so it wasn't too far fetched an idea

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12119709.post-1113395691824454962005-04-13T08:35:00.000-04:002005-04-13T08:34:51.826-04:00

I woke up feeling very sexy this morning. Lately, I've been wearing my glasse. When I have on enough black, they become an accessory and not just a necessity...lol So I'm feeling like I have the sexy school teacher look going on today with the pinstripes and the stilettos. It didn't help that all the Mexican workers were breaking their necks when i went to the gas station to get my coffee...

Quest4lovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288504116009182180noreply@blogger.com0